Beauty of Nature

Beauty of Nature

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

A Paranormal Day For Me

I have no idea that today is going to be the creepiest and the most astounding day of my life. You will know soon enough after you read this...

Once upon an evening, my mum said that she wants to go to this ustaz's house to 'cure' my sister. My sister, well, she has been sick for almost a year since Dad died. My father death was not because of the severe disease. He died thanks to the black magic. I don't know who did it but that was just cruel. I remembered my father's face, his appearance on the day he died. I remember it so well sometimes I will cry unconsciously... After he passed away, this 'black magic' that consumed him till his death day got to us. My mother went 'berubat' after that along with my younger sisters. I, however, was not affected. I remember once when I was going to a mini mart following my auntie to buy some things. Suddenly, I felt so cold and an extreme dizziness overwhelmed in a short period of time. I fainted and I regained my consciousness when someone poured water on my face. The lady that owns the mini mart said that I was near to death. I was pale and weak and my whole body felt so strange that I can't seem to understand why these things happening to me. Blood could not be seen on my face as well as my hands and arms and legs. I don't know if this is the work of the black magic.

Well, that was the story of me. Back to my sister. Now, after Asar, we went to the ustaz's house by car. His house is somewhere in Wakaf Bharu. After we reached our destination, ustaz asked my sister to sit in front of him with her back facing him. After seems like hours(actually not), my sister cried so hard I felt like crying too(it's true..I'm soft-hearted) but I did not. My poor sister. So, this is the situation of her getting her 'medication' while I was away in college, I said to myself. Her cry pierced through my heart until I can't bear it. She was trampling all over and I knew that very second that she felt the excruciating pain within her. I held her and told her to calm down and be patient. I told her recite 'dua kalimah syahadah' and every doa she can. She did but.... I guess she was in such a pain that prevent her from doing it. It was very heartbreaking to see the state of my younger sister which is 2 years younger than me. She was crying her heart out and she was sweating so much. After about an hour, it was over. Her body shaken. She was so weak and tired after all she has been going through. After that, we went to my grandmother's sister's house. I was sitting beside my sister in the living room when the slide door of the balcony just at the right of where my sister sat began to rattle. My first thought was maybe a cat outside or the lizard or maybe the wind. Suddenly, the door of a bedroom just the opposite of us opened and you know what, the room was empty. Nobody was inside. Then, the sliding door began to rattle again. More furiously. What the heck? My sister looked horrified and ran straight to the kitchen where my mother, her friend and my grandmother's sister were. I followed her from behind. Obviously, I was horrified of what I've just seen with my own eyes although just the rattling and the opening of door. Sheesh!! STOP PICKING ON MY SISTER, if I can shout and give 'these things' a knuckle sandwich. The reality is I can't. One thing for sure, I have to support my sisters and my mother from these things, if I can. You know what, I will.

The Superoot Chocolate and Biology Lecturer

You know, I was just thinking about my Biology lecturer at Perak Matriculation College. It was so funny maybe because I was there. It might not sound funny here... Hmm.. Read the rest if you want to.

Another ordinary day for us, students, going to the lecture halls, to the tutorial rooms, library, science laboratories, student centre and such. For me, I was busy heading towards the largest lecture hall among the other 5 lecture halls, Lecture Hall 5. There I was, going to my usual seat, saying hello to the familiar faces there and waiting for En. Reduan, the Biology lecturer. This happened during the afternoon. So, here we go...

En Reduan: Assalamualaikum and Good Afternoon, my boys and girls.
Students(some are giggling, obviously not boys): Waalaikumussalam and Good Afternoon, sir.
En Reduan: Have you had your lunch, boys and girls?
Students: Yes!! (and No!)
En Reduan: Yes? Very good. No? Why? Diet? I have taken my lunch too. I drank this Superoot Chocolate for my lunch. I don't really like drinking this Superoot Chocolate but why I drank it, you might ask? Right? Well, it goes back way last week when I went shopping at this supermarket. I want to buy something else but then I saw this promotion of Superoot Chocolate. Buy One, Free One Umbrella.

When we heard what he just said, we laughed like mad. The way he said it.... XD

En Reduan: Ok what? It's raining season right now. If it's evening, it's raining and if it's raining, it's evening...right or not? Right, right? Ok...let us go back to Kingdom Animalia, Phylum Echinodermata.

And that's the end of it. Not that funny, right? Why am I even bother to type this....?

Maybe because I'm bored, I guess...Huhuhuhu...

Saturday, April 25, 2009

Feelings of Life

I can't believe I've finished my matriculation level for the thousandth time this month. I really miss Perak Matriculation College. I can't believe I'm missing it. I remember that when I just entered the college, I was feeling disgusted and hatred. I hated for being in this college and I hated for being forced to enter this college. I asked myself, why am I to do in this college? I've promised myself not to involve with chemistry and biology and all those science subjects. It must have been fate for me to do this all over again starting with the basics that I have learned when I was in secondary level. *sigh* In the first semester, I was pretty lonely myself. I did not even care about my classmates or the homeworks and all. All I know was I have to be patient until everything is over. I did not even care about my roommates much. It was 5 months after Dad passed away. I guess my emotions at that time was unstable. That's not the worst of it. I remember my first time went into this PLKN Pasir Puteh, Kelantan. I was NOT happy. Not the least bit happy. At all. My emotions were very very unstable that I felt like I had to kill each and every one of these stupid people in this camp so that I felt relieved. Of course, that was just the feeling. Not the real thing. Although, I did feel like doing it. People did not even feel anything about me having no father to support the family and as the eldest, I have to help my family. I was in a critical state. I did not even care what the teachers in the camp were trying to do. I did not even care whether I had to wake up every morning at 5 and so on. I did not care about the people, the food, the activities, the amazing views of the sea in the morning, in the evening and such. When I remember all this, I now know that I was still shocked with my father's death. I did not know what to do at that time. I told myself to endure all this until it's over. Then, I realised if I kept on ignoring all these things I might missed something important in life. My dormmates tried to ignore me. The other trainees from other dorms were quite mad at me. My guess for these actions of these people was that they tried to befriend me but I was too sad to even try to talk to them and all. Sometimes, I felt so annoyed and irritated with all these that I became like a lion that tried to eat its prey. I felt so mad, I yelled and ignored them. I was so lonely. I was very alone. Until now, I keep on asking to myself, why do I always have to go and meet my friends to feel happy? Why don't they come to me? Why do I always have to go to them? Why won't they come to me to talk to me? Why must I make the first move? Does this mean people look at me for the first time and think that I'm weird? Why won't they make the first move to say hello to me? Why must I go to them to say hello? If I don't go to them and say hello and will you be my friend and such, will they come to me or will they not? Will I be alone for the rest of my life? Sometimes, I try to think positively. Think on the bright side. After a month at that camp, I tried to change. I made many friends in such a short time with my new, positive attitude. I felt happy when people around me felt happy too but then I realized that was not the real me. I changed my attitude so that people will like me but I felt sad at the same time because that was no the real me. I felt like I'm being someone else. Then, I thought it's ok to be like this. What was so wrong to be positive? I should throw away my 'dark aura'. And I'm glad I did. That was the story of me in that PLKN Pasir Puteh. About the Perak Matriculation College....I was having problems in choosing which course should I take until this indecision was overwhelming I started to cry. Suddenly, I had a call from my mom saying that I was accepted into Kolej Matrikulasi Perak. I was like...really? Ok.. I had no feeling of entering to this college. I had to choose. Whether I want to enter a goverment-support college or a private one? With Dad gone, I had to choose properly and maturely. I entered Perak Matriculation College with a heavy heart. When the first semester exam was just around the corner, I realized that I had to do my best in these subjects although I disliked it. So, entering the 2nd semester and 2009. I told myself that I will do my best in Chemistry, Biology, Science Mathematics and English in order to know more about the world. And that is what I did in my 2nd semester. I learned like I've never learned before. I was eager to know more about science as time passes by. You know what, I fell in love with science not long after that. Learning them was quite interesting but to grasp their concepts were a challenge. I studied them. Study, doing experiments, study, doing more experiments, study.... I always want to know how other people study. Their study methods are very different from mine. Their methods are quite ordinary among the other students in the college. I was scared. Was my study methods wrong? Then, I found the answer to my question. It doesn't matter how we study as long as we know what we've been studying. For me, I study like I really am trying to study how things work and how do you get this and that. By doing this, it is easier for me to understand and grasp the concepts firmly. Day by day, at last the final exam!! I tried to calm myself and I did. not for my roommate. She kept on reading and doing practices until late at night. For me, doing practices is good but if you keep on doing it like some kind of routine istead of trying to uinderstand it, I don't think so. I've made an experiment about that. I've been doing so many practices and I did understand but after several days, I'll forget about it just like that. So, I thought to myself, what must be done to make me remember and understand them more effectively? Hehe.... Study them carefully. Memorise. Tell yourself you can do it. I have a memory card of 100 GB, tell yourself that. I did. I did everything to boost myself. My friends did not do anything for me. If it is concerned about my own self, I need to understand myself more and do something about myself. I motivate my own self to do things. I don't have motivation books or anything. I believe in myself and God, the most. I did everything at that time. Everything... Until I pressured myself, just for a day. Then, I told myself, enough is enough. Get a grip of yourself. You'll be fine. Since, I was a child, I always want to do things on my own without help from others. I feel like if I want help form them, they might feel troublesome or something. Furthermore, if I get their help they won't do as I told them to do. Sheesh!! It's much better if I do them by myself. I had problems in believing and trusting people once but not anymore. I'll look ahead and think about the future. I believe that God has His own reasons why I have to go through these obstacles and challages of life. One of them is to know about yourself. Knowing about yourself is like knowing God's creation. How delicate and amazing His creations are. One of them is us, humans. I want to know more about His creations. One of them is through studying about science.

Studying about myself, studying about something to believe.... Knowing about others, believing in people... Universally thinking, these are just incredible. I don't know why, you might think I'm such a naive kid, thinking something like this... the wheels keep on going and never stop. Just like time. It will never stop going forward. I will try my best in life. I will live my life to the fullest. The feelings of loss and all that I have been through and felt are of ways of God to make me learn about life. Life is journey. All of us will leave this world sooner or later. Which place do you choose to live is up to the good and bad you have been doing in this world.

But that is the story of the next life...

Friday, April 24, 2009

Curious of Life

My first time getting into this blog stuff....sure is. I have no idea people will actually love getting into this and now I know why. Sometimes, we need to update things about ourselves or things that we find interesting that we want to tell others about it or something cetera day after day so that our friends will know what's going on in our everyday life. Quite interesting.... Those who love to isolate themselves from others, this is not a good thing or maybe they can lie to people about their life. Hehehe....sounds good to liars, right? I'm the lazy type of person to do this but still, I think it can be fun doing this once in a while. I've just finished my matriculation level. Next stop, university. Time flows and never stop. Keeps on ticking every second. Each second is precious like a long lost treasure. Have you ever wonder what you have been doing all this time? Using every second, every minute, every hour of your lives doing things but are you doing the right thing? You do so many things but is it worth it? I've just realized that we do not live forever. We will leave this world one day but we do not know when. Maybe I'll be gone after this, or tomorrow...who knows. God knows things we do not. That is why I want to treasure this life. Who doesn't? Doing charity and stuff. Do good to people. Do good to myself. If so, why are there people who throw away their life like some kind of garbage? You think by throwing away your lives, you can be alive again? I always wonder about things like this and wanting to ask them why?

You know, I always so curious about lives. One time, I asked myself, if I leave this world will people remember me? Cry for me? And such. Will they be missing me? Sometimes, I wonder if all of my precious family members are to die one day, what will I do? Curiosity kills the cat, as the proverb says, but without curiosity there will be no scientists, no technology and so on. I am one curious human being....